gLeeks, freaks and “the others”

May 25, 2010 at 10:45 pm (Thoughts on Life, Weight Loss Journey) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I’m a gLeek. If you for some reason reside under a rock and don’t know what that is…it’s a person who likes is obsessed with the TV show “gLee”.  Tonight’s episode hit some really hard topics and I wanted to share a bit about this.

Rachel (Lea Michele) found her birth mother (Idina Menzel) and learned that connecting with her is easier said than done and wasn’t going to fix that hole in her heart. Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Finn (Cory Monteith) move in together because their parents have been dating. Kurt redecorates their bedroom to ease Finn’s homophobia. The climactic moment comes when Kurt’s father (Mike O’Malley) walks in right when Finn calls a blanket “faggy”. He tells Finn that that kind of ignorance will not be tolerated under his roof and that being gay is not some punishable offense. By the end of the episode, Finn defends Kurt when he is being bullied by the jocks as a way of telling Kurt he accepts him.

I have done theatre productions for years and have many gay friends. I also have African-American friends, short friends, tall friends, fat friends, skinny friends, goth friends and friends from different religions. Does that make me any better than them? No. The world is made up of all walks of life. Everyone is raised differently and comes from different backgrounds.

In a way, I’m very lucky. I lived the first twenty-five years of my life being “the fat girl”. Living with the daily remarks from my peers, the stares and the loneliness. Now, I’m learning to live on the other side. I have a total understanding of what overweight people go through and how hard life can be when you aren’t a cute size four. Every day, it’s getting easier to be me. It’s easy for me to say I am who I am…that’s okay…so take me as I am or move on!

When you are twelve sizes above “normal”, people do overlook you and yes, you are invisible. You can’t easily say, “I’m me–deal with it”. You learn to change your personality in some way so people have a reason to look beyond the double chin and big ass. You learn to laugh at yourself before they do…you buy people’s love little by little, treating them to lunch when you can’t afford it so they will hang out with you.

I wish that we could all come to the understanding that everyone is who they are and that should be okay…but somehow, I don’t think we as humans will ever stop separating each other and naming one group “better” than another.

Dare to Be Different

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3 Comments

  1. MaryP said,

    Thanks for dropping by my blog, and I’m glad I stopped by yours!

    This was an interesting read. All my step-kids are overweight (in the 50 – 100+ pound range) but one of them, she’s just so HERSELF, that I never even notice it. Yes, she’s a big girl, of course you see that, but what you really *notice* is … Anne. At 19, she’s one of the nicest, most calmly confident people I know.

    Anna’s greatest strength is that she has never cared a whole lot what anyone thought of her. Thankfully, she’s always been a kind and thoughtful kid –though stubborn? Holy hannah, the girl was stubborn! Thus, she’s always charted her own course, the one that seemed right to her.

    Now you’ve got me wondering: How much does her weight affect her self-image? My impression, from the outside, is “not at all”… but I don’t know, because we’ve never talked about it. (I decided years ago that I wouldn’t raise the subject of their weight; if they wanted to talk to me about it, they could bring it up. I didn’t want to be the evil step-mother, preaching at them and making them feel bad about themselves.)

    Interesting.

    • becomingme2010 said,

      Mary, thank you so much for your comments! So exciting to get my first one here lol.

      As far as Anna goes, I would imagine (total speculation of course) that she has built a wall around herself to keep herself from getting hurt. I only say that because that’s exactly what I have done since age 4. I have always acted like the comments from kids at school didn’t bother me. But then I’d get up in the middle of the night and eat a bunch of candy. It was all a matter of stuffing the emotions down so I didn’t have to deal with them. As I got older, I learned to be the class clown in order to “deserve” to be liked. So basically, I have always been a bubbly, happy person to be around…even at almost 300 lbs. I’ve been reading this book by Geneen Roth, “Women, Food and God”. It teaches you how to get to the root of why you eat. A great read if you want further insight…

  2. Pretty Ladies : said,

    oh well, i am a gleek myself and i really really love GLEE —

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